Posted by Jessica on Oct 2, 2013 | 2 comments
The summer months have come to a close. The entire season has ended. The magic has wafted away, across fields glowing golden with the early sunsets. How quickly the time marches by, giving way to silent mornings, breathing cool mist on the tired grass.
This season for me has sped by. Meandering through beautiful moments, and leading me through difficult circumstances. Showing me ways to observe. To love. To feel. To think. To try. To let go. To surrender. To fight. To trust. To simply be.
Interesting….. Stretching ……. yet altogether beautiful. Or more, it is beautiful what those things can lead to. The lessons God lovingly, patiently, abstractly teaches us through them. In spite of them. With them. Because of them.
I cannot, in a rational and logical way, explain these things. I just do not operate in that way. The plane on which I feel I most often exist, only makes “sense” to myself. Ambiguous? Maybe. But that is not my intention. My creative mind and soulful being, I just see things differently. And Autumn has a history of bringing these things to the forefront of my wild rationale. Maybe it is the serenity of the crisp air that brings a tremble to my lips. Or maybe the fact that the growing season is halted and I have a chance to slow down and inhale. Inhale the past. Memories. Inhale the beauty of my surroundings. The ways that God has blessed me. The things He has provided for me. Inhale and take part of Who He is. To rest in the confidence of my very Maker.
Maybe it is the coming of the cold. My wild, sun-loving spirit that balks at the knowledge that Winter is on the way. That my brown skin will be cold beneath the layers of sweaters I do not like to wear; fading as I drink coffee and pine for the Spring. My shoulders and my neck, withheld from the warm intimacy of the summer sunshine. There is something I feel when I think of that. And it stirs something inside of me. It procures emotions I cannot explain. And for some reason, it is in this very season my Creator comes and teaches me things I cannot even explain. But what does that matter? He has explained them to me. I understand them. And I give thanks. I marvel at the way He teaches me. At the way He reveals things to me. And sometimes they are in the smallest of ways. In the most humble ways. In simple and imperfect things. I love how He does that.
1.clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.
2.the state or quality of being clear or transparent to the eye; pellucidity: the clarity of pure water.
Waterfalls. I love them. To step in the abundance of their beauty and listen to the songs they sing. To be mesmerized by the pure and unbreakable sight.
Maybe sometimes things become clear as we just rest in them. Or rather, rest in the Maker of all things.
God is teaching me. I pray I listen as He does.
Posted by Jessica on Sep 8, 2013 | 2 comments
It would be abundantly cliché to say that I have been too busy to write on here; although it would also be abundantly true.
Yesterday I was reminded of something though….. and the fact remains that I need to be more faithful in writing on here. So thank you, kind friend, who reminded me of that.
In light of my last post, in which I praised the beauty of the sunflower, I will simply give a few photographs that I captured this season. My dear, sunny children. I love them so.
Posted by Jessica on Jul 25, 2013 | 1 comment
1.ecstatic joy or delight; joyful ecstasy.
When I see a sunflower, I cannot explain the way I feel. When they first started blooming here, I was so enthralled and filled with joy at their appearance, that I could hardly contain myself. It is more than an emotional attachment. It is more than an appreciation. Perhaps it is because I know what kind of love God put into them when He spoke them into existence. It is because I can only imagine the way He smiles when they open up each new day, glorifying Him in a way that only they know how. That only He can hear. If He created all creation for His glory, then just consider the way it must please Him when they do what they were intended to do. To shine. To point to the sun. To give us cheer. To make us smile when we behold their beauty. Pointing upwards to their Maker and ours.
To God be the glory. Praise Him, sweet sunflower. Praise Him, oh my soul.
Posted by Jessica on Jul 21, 2013 | 1 comment
~ Down they came,
Quickly but gently,
Bullets of diamond
To shatter and die.
Down they came.
Hope from the cloud,
Prize for the shadow,
Thunder’s soft sigh. ~
Seems that for three weeks straight they came down. Making soggy all the soil and creating mud where there should be soil.
Cultvation, hoeing, weeding; such things had to be placed on hold. Some of the plants are rather unhappy. But picking in the rain isn’t so bad. Actually rather sedative and soothing in a way.
Finally I think the heavy burden of clouds has lifted, and the sun is finally blessing us with its warmth and splendor once again. Sometimes, happiness can be measured with sunrays.
Posted by Jessica on Jun 30, 2013 | 3 comments
It’s not a color I wear. It’s not a color I am usually drawn to. But when it comes to flowers….I am absolutely smitten….
Posted by Jessica on Jun 29, 2013 | 1 comment
It started with a dream.
Well, that sounds a little too cliché.
But I do remember, as a seven year old little girl, writing it down.
“When I grow up, I want to live on a farm.”
The pages of the little blue diary were never filled up, for I soon forgot to fill out its pages as time passed, but I do remember writing down those words specifically.
I do wonder how that idea was ever placed in my young heart. That beautiful and wonderful idea of romping at leisure on a piece of property all covered in green grass and swallowed up with imagination.
There is magic in lightning bugs. In the colors of springtime. The energy of life. The surrounding nostalgia of a lazy day. Or even a day filled with extremely hard work. The endorphin rush after running a big tiller and plowing beautiful earth. The joy of seeing the beginnings of plants make their way to existence. Gratifying. Joyful. Colorful. Creative.
My parents, my loving parents, though they never experienced the same level of passion as me, were sacrificially gracious to see my dream thrive. They provided me with space. With the ability to buy seeds. To plow up their entire yard. To keep animals in their yard. Livestock. And while I no longer own any large animals, they still saw to it that I achieved that desire. I am forever grateful to their sacrifices. And I have been able, with their support, to nourish my deep, imbedded love for that life.
I have seen plants grow. I have seen baby goats born. I have eaten the very tomatoes and okra I have worked for. I have taken delight in seeing flowers open up to the world.
And while I do not know my future….I know that the love and the nostalgia and the beauty and the fervor will always reside in the recesses of my heart. Perhaps I will end up across the continent teaching young and hungry children how to grow their own food. Of maybe I will end up growing marigolds in a window box on the balcony of an apartment. But whatever my life takes me, I am still the same person. And the wonder of is all remains forever impressed on my mind…..
and that is a lovely thing.